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Alright, let's do this

July 13, 2018

Matt and Sam were sitting at a picnic bench in the patio of a dive bar. They took sips of light beer between loose mind riffs on the next great idea. It was a weekday. And they were in full visionary mode. Previous times had produced dreams of: The Dump App, The Blackout App, and papertowels that were perforated in a grid to allow for minimum waste. But these ideas were playful machinations: breathy, alcohol scented whispers.

The real thing on their minds: they didn't love their jobs. And they were single. And they got no dating app matches, ever.

"Sam, when is your neighbor free so we can do a photoshoot for our Bumble profiles. What we need are professional looking pictures. We need to look freakin' suave. For the mamasitas."

"Yeah we should plan that." Sam said. "I want one of those pictures where I'm standing in the middle of the street with a blurred background so it looks like I'm a city guy."

Their rolodex was nill. Their loneliness was at max. Desparation had set in. Dating apps had inflicted an internal confusion that blossomed into insecurities about their attractiveness, their perceived qualities, and their sex appeal.

After several beers, Matt looked at Sam and said, "Alright, pitch me a million dollar idea."

Sam raised his eyebrows, licked his dry lips and nodded. "What if I could do the things I want to do, with someone."

That simple question settled in their brains.

"Yeah. Like go to concerts and shit."

"Yeah or festivals, or all that weird shit I like to do here."

"Just cut out Bumble. Go straight to the date. Fuck all the phone chats and the stupid profile pictures."

"Alright I'm hungry we gotta migrate."


That question pervaded all of Matt's and Sam's conversations for the rest of the month. They talked through all of the ins and outs of meeting someone for the first time. They asked their friends about it. They argued about it. They laughed about it. They fantasized about their creation in the shower. Not together in the shower. Separately though, in their own showers. They dreamed about opening an office, answering questions in interviews, helping lonely people. They'd buy a duster, and a Tesla, and present at an Apple Keynote.

And then they were sitting at a picnic bench at a dive bar sipping on light beer.

Sam looked at Matt and said, "Alright, let's actually do it though."